York Restoration Corporation Grooves on a Classic Building

York Restoration Corporation

Mmm. That top floor. Creepy, right? Like something from Hitchcock’s classic, “Psycho.” Looks like there ought to be the faint outline of a cross-dressing, murderous, hotel-running Anthony Perkins looking out onto the street.

Not to denigrate the building! It’s a classic building. You know it’s solid, if a little dingy, and probably filled to its rafters with locals who’ve lived in the same apartment for 32 years. They who nod in the hall as they pass one another, occasionally share exciting family news, live with two cats and a cockatoo, eat too much salt, hoard the razor-thin ovals of nearly used-up soap bars inside a plastic bag under the sink so that, a few months and many bars of soap later, those little leftover soap slivers can be packed together to form a “new” Voltron soap bar.

This building says, “buy local.”

“Never try to lift more than you weigh.”

“Cut up all but one of your credit cards, then put that last credit card in a shallow bowl of water. Stick that in the freezer. Whenever you get the urge to buy, pull it out and wait for it to melt. Chances are, the urge to buy will’ve subsided by the time it’s completely unfrozen. Win!”

“Take your date for a walk and a picnic in the park rather than dinner and a movie. Unless you can’t hold a conversation. In that case, always suggest movies. If all else fails, ask a lot of questions and pray you’re attractive.”

Yes, I’d take that sensible building. If it were a woman, and I were dating, I’d have no qualms about taking her home to mother (so long as she cleaned up a bit beforehand.)

And she weren’t the female Anthony Perkins.

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